Full disclosure: this post has very little to do with food. It mostly has to do with life.
Life hasn't been easy lately. I'll spare you all the details, but I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for the past few months, which you can imagine is extremely trying. I think when life gets uncomfortable, it's generally because we feel that one or more things are out of our control, and it makes us feel uneasy. It's naive to think that we have control over anything in our lives, of course, even the little things (or rather, we should never feel like there is 100% certainty in what we define as outcomes). For example, I planned to do the dishes a few nights ago after dinner -- something which I expected would take about five minutes, but ended up taking 20 because I: (a) burned the bottom of the pot I used to make some chicken curry (hence, intense scrubbing was needed), and (b) tried to scrape off the burned layer with my thumbnail, resulting in an unforeseen injury (no need to explain further).
I think for a while, I felt that adopting a dog would help with it all. I know that if we brought home a pup who desperately needed a "forever home" (the accepted lingo used by most shelters), we would care and provide for him/her, and gosh darn it, we would love our new member of the family with every fiber of our beings. I even had my eye on a one-eyed Beagle who stole my heart shortly after meeting her a few weeks ago. Her name was Jenna and she had a sign in front of her pen that said, "Please visit one of my friends! I'm being adopted today!" I felt so happy for her. I know living beings should not be defined by their handicap, but I really felt for this dog. Here she was, a two year old dog bred to hunt hares and dig tunnels and run around outside and be active. Yet, she was not only cooped up in a small pen at the Atlanta Humane Society, she also had a single functioning eye. To make things worse, we went back to the Humane Society a week later and Jenna was back in. Turns out her adopter didn't realize how active Beagles are and she had "too much energy" -- clearly not a good fit. (*Side note: This really makes me angry. How do you not realize Beagles are active dogs?! That's a no brainer to me.) My heart just went out to her. Every time I looked at her or thought about her, I heard Sarah McLachlan singing in those damned SPCA commercials that make everyone tear up, including my macho husband. When we visited with her, she seemed timid and shy, which just made my heart ache more. I thought about all the reasons she was left with this one eye, and was consumed with the idea that we would save her from her previous life, which clearly was wretched (*another side note: I know nothing of her background. Maybe it wasn't actually that bad, but she DID end up in a shelter, so clearly something went wrong.).
In other words, I felt that I needed CONTROL over something. I needed to feel like I could create a better life for her because I could not control other aspects of my life, make things better in my own life (better = changing situations based on expected outcomes).
...I clearly recognize, in retrospect, that this isn't necessarily the best reason to get a dog. I understand that. And to be clear, Joe and I have talked about getting a dog some day, and when we do, it will be a decision based on both logic and emotional connection, and we'll make that decision together. Also, for the record, Jenna was adopted within the week, although Joe and I agreed to revisit the idea of adopting her if she did not have a permanent owner in a few weeks.
*Third side note: I have the most understanding husband ever for putting up with these emotional pangs for cute dogs, and just generally speaking. God bless that man.
The whole point of this story is that life has ups and downs, and we can't control most things. When someone is describing his/her truly shitty situations and another person responds with, "Well, it has get better from here, right?" It makes me think, "Well, you don't know that. None of us do." Although this sounds kind of crappy, it can also be a reminder of how important perception and outlook on life can be. Appreciating the little things around us -- small, but kind, gestures of strangers, spotting things in nature which strike us as truly beautiful, personal and professional successes -- these are reminders of our universal connection, our oneness with the world.
Does anyone else think it's just incredible that the European Space agency landed a probe on a FLYING COMET (I promise, this is related)?! Though we have limited data from Philae, this mission is just the beginning of exploring untouched parts of our universe about which we know next to nothing! There is so much we don't know about the world around us, but being curious and appreciative of our surroundings brings us closer to feeling that sense of oneness with the universe. Feeling this sense of unity can take us away, even if for a moment, from our individual lives. In the grand scheme of things, the universe is vast and awesome, in which we are small specks of human life. However, we have the intellectual capacity to advance science and technology so we can better understand our surroundings, and for that, we may be small, but not insignificant. But on a more personal level, other people in this world may be going through the exact same struggles (however we define them) that we are, and this connects us as a community as well.
With that, I leave you with a few simple observations or thoughts of gratitude, despite the difficulties I've been experiencing lately:
1. Many people find running uninteresting and repetitive, compared to other forms of physical activity. Most people find long-distance running to be onerous and exhausting. I crave it, especially in the fall season when the leaves turn. I'm beyond grateful that I have two functional legs, a functional body, and am currently not fighting major injuries. I am thankful that I could go for that 11.5 mile run this morning through neighborhoods full of brightly-colored leaves, glistening in the sun. In particular, I feel grateful for running past the most beautiful gingko tree in someone's front yard -- their lawn was littered with bright yellow fan-like leaves that looked just like someone had strewn a million yellow flowers all over the grass. I wish I had my phone at that moment to take a picture, but it looked something like this (but with a single tree).
2. I'm thankful for my husband, who has been incredibly patient, supportive, and kind during this trying time. I'm especially indebted to him for doing the laundry every single week, the one task I absolutely abhor and refuse to do unless I'm desperate (i.e. when I run out of underwear).
3. At some point during my run today, I had a flashback to when I ran my first full marathon in early 2006. Somewhere towards the end of my run, I spotted my mother cheering me on at the sidelines. I still remember how freezing it was that day; this particular cold front was somewhat unexpected (as they often are in the great state of Texas), and she was wearing long, grey sweatpants and a huge pullover hoodie. My mom's eyes just emanated, glowed with pride. It took me by surprise, to be honest. She took my hand briefly, I smiled and waved, and then I was off to tackle the remaining 6 or so miles in the race. I'm not sure exactly why I remember that particular moment. I suppose it was a bit of a boost during the dreaded "wall" that long-distance runners typically experience somewhere between miles 18-20. So, I'm thankful that we, as humans, can capture memories like these and still remember them years later like they happened yesterday.
4. Though we've both been busy lately, Joe and I have shared many, many meals together over which we have had great conversations and shared countless laughs over the years. There have also been innumerable meals we've shared with friends and family that have also brought us great joy and made us feel more connected to those we love, and for this, I feel incredibly grateful.
These reminders of gratitude help me get through the "downs" of life, and accumulate as I ride the "ups" of life. I encourage all of you to take a moment, wherever you are in your life today, to think about a few things for which you feel gratitude, and keep those thoughts in the back of your mind as you continue your weekend. I know I will.
Life hasn't been easy lately. I'll spare you all the details, but I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for the past few months, which you can imagine is extremely trying. I think when life gets uncomfortable, it's generally because we feel that one or more things are out of our control, and it makes us feel uneasy. It's naive to think that we have control over anything in our lives, of course, even the little things (or rather, we should never feel like there is 100% certainty in what we define as outcomes). For example, I planned to do the dishes a few nights ago after dinner -- something which I expected would take about five minutes, but ended up taking 20 because I: (a) burned the bottom of the pot I used to make some chicken curry (hence, intense scrubbing was needed), and (b) tried to scrape off the burned layer with my thumbnail, resulting in an unforeseen injury (no need to explain further).
I think for a while, I felt that adopting a dog would help with it all. I know that if we brought home a pup who desperately needed a "forever home" (the accepted lingo used by most shelters), we would care and provide for him/her, and gosh darn it, we would love our new member of the family with every fiber of our beings. I even had my eye on a one-eyed Beagle who stole my heart shortly after meeting her a few weeks ago. Her name was Jenna and she had a sign in front of her pen that said, "Please visit one of my friends! I'm being adopted today!" I felt so happy for her. I know living beings should not be defined by their handicap, but I really felt for this dog. Here she was, a two year old dog bred to hunt hares and dig tunnels and run around outside and be active. Yet, she was not only cooped up in a small pen at the Atlanta Humane Society, she also had a single functioning eye. To make things worse, we went back to the Humane Society a week later and Jenna was back in. Turns out her adopter didn't realize how active Beagles are and she had "too much energy" -- clearly not a good fit. (*Side note: This really makes me angry. How do you not realize Beagles are active dogs?! That's a no brainer to me.) My heart just went out to her. Every time I looked at her or thought about her, I heard Sarah McLachlan singing in those damned SPCA commercials that make everyone tear up, including my macho husband. When we visited with her, she seemed timid and shy, which just made my heart ache more. I thought about all the reasons she was left with this one eye, and was consumed with the idea that we would save her from her previous life, which clearly was wretched (*another side note: I know nothing of her background. Maybe it wasn't actually that bad, but she DID end up in a shelter, so clearly something went wrong.).
In other words, I felt that I needed CONTROL over something. I needed to feel like I could create a better life for her because I could not control other aspects of my life, make things better in my own life (better = changing situations based on expected outcomes).
...I clearly recognize, in retrospect, that this isn't necessarily the best reason to get a dog. I understand that. And to be clear, Joe and I have talked about getting a dog some day, and when we do, it will be a decision based on both logic and emotional connection, and we'll make that decision together. Also, for the record, Jenna was adopted within the week, although Joe and I agreed to revisit the idea of adopting her if she did not have a permanent owner in a few weeks.
*Third side note: I have the most understanding husband ever for putting up with these emotional pangs for cute dogs, and just generally speaking. God bless that man.
The whole point of this story is that life has ups and downs, and we can't control most things. When someone is describing his/her truly shitty situations and another person responds with, "Well, it has get better from here, right?" It makes me think, "Well, you don't know that. None of us do." Although this sounds kind of crappy, it can also be a reminder of how important perception and outlook on life can be. Appreciating the little things around us -- small, but kind, gestures of strangers, spotting things in nature which strike us as truly beautiful, personal and professional successes -- these are reminders of our universal connection, our oneness with the world.
Does anyone else think it's just incredible that the European Space agency landed a probe on a FLYING COMET (I promise, this is related)?! Though we have limited data from Philae, this mission is just the beginning of exploring untouched parts of our universe about which we know next to nothing! There is so much we don't know about the world around us, but being curious and appreciative of our surroundings brings us closer to feeling that sense of oneness with the universe. Feeling this sense of unity can take us away, even if for a moment, from our individual lives. In the grand scheme of things, the universe is vast and awesome, in which we are small specks of human life. However, we have the intellectual capacity to advance science and technology so we can better understand our surroundings, and for that, we may be small, but not insignificant. But on a more personal level, other people in this world may be going through the exact same struggles (however we define them) that we are, and this connects us as a community as well.
With that, I leave you with a few simple observations or thoughts of gratitude, despite the difficulties I've been experiencing lately:
1. Many people find running uninteresting and repetitive, compared to other forms of physical activity. Most people find long-distance running to be onerous and exhausting. I crave it, especially in the fall season when the leaves turn. I'm beyond grateful that I have two functional legs, a functional body, and am currently not fighting major injuries. I am thankful that I could go for that 11.5 mile run this morning through neighborhoods full of brightly-colored leaves, glistening in the sun. In particular, I feel grateful for running past the most beautiful gingko tree in someone's front yard -- their lawn was littered with bright yellow fan-like leaves that looked just like someone had strewn a million yellow flowers all over the grass. I wish I had my phone at that moment to take a picture, but it looked something like this (but with a single tree).
2. I'm thankful for my husband, who has been incredibly patient, supportive, and kind during this trying time. I'm especially indebted to him for doing the laundry every single week, the one task I absolutely abhor and refuse to do unless I'm desperate (i.e. when I run out of underwear).
3. At some point during my run today, I had a flashback to when I ran my first full marathon in early 2006. Somewhere towards the end of my run, I spotted my mother cheering me on at the sidelines. I still remember how freezing it was that day; this particular cold front was somewhat unexpected (as they often are in the great state of Texas), and she was wearing long, grey sweatpants and a huge pullover hoodie. My mom's eyes just emanated, glowed with pride. It took me by surprise, to be honest. She took my hand briefly, I smiled and waved, and then I was off to tackle the remaining 6 or so miles in the race. I'm not sure exactly why I remember that particular moment. I suppose it was a bit of a boost during the dreaded "wall" that long-distance runners typically experience somewhere between miles 18-20. So, I'm thankful that we, as humans, can capture memories like these and still remember them years later like they happened yesterday.
4. Though we've both been busy lately, Joe and I have shared many, many meals together over which we have had great conversations and shared countless laughs over the years. There have also been innumerable meals we've shared with friends and family that have also brought us great joy and made us feel more connected to those we love, and for this, I feel incredibly grateful.
These reminders of gratitude help me get through the "downs" of life, and accumulate as I ride the "ups" of life. I encourage all of you to take a moment, wherever you are in your life today, to think about a few things for which you feel gratitude, and keep those thoughts in the back of your mind as you continue your weekend. I know I will.
No comments:
Post a Comment